Cold start to the day, -15F when I walked out the door at 6:20 this morning. Tired of the cold and snow – need some warm weather and some sun. Need some other stuff too – motivation, ambition. I need some drive.
I need a kick in the butt.
I need to turn over a new leaf and get back in the gym, running, and being active. Without a doubt, I’m getting fat again – I’ve told myself at least one thousand times that I would never go back to where I was and yet I find myself heading back down that same path. Eating crap, not moving, thinking about doing stuff but never actually doing it. I know what I need to do and I still struggle to get on the right path – excuses, lies, and laziness are keeping me from excelling in life and being the happy, healthy person I should be – and once was.
I’ve come to realize that I’ve let too many things go over the last couple of years – CrossFit, running, and other stuff – all set to the side and given up on – or at least paused. Not sure why. I still have interest in these things. I still listen to fitness podcasts, still pay attention to the CrossFit Games, still like the thought of running and exercising, I like to think I can still push myself as hard as I did when I was running marathons and 30 pounds lighter. I’m actually not sure why my health has dropped on my priority list.
I am busy, without a doubt, but no more so than when I was more active, in better shape physically and mentally, and overall happier. No busier than when I found it possible to roll out of bed at 4:30 am four or five days a week for CrossFit. No busier then when I would spend my early Sunday mornings on a 2 or 3 hour long run around the Woodbury trails preparing for a marathon. No busier then when I found it possible to run at lunch along the river on warm summer days. I’m no busier today then when I found time to write for http://www.completerunning.com, complete my school work, and still do great things at work. I have no more going on today than I did when I was writing on http://www.engelsrud.com regularly and finding enjoyment in putting words on paper (in a virtual sort of way) – sharing my ramblings with no one in particular but still finding it rewarding. No busier than when I would rather go run then sit on the couch. No busier.
And yet, I still can’t “find the time” to do these things I used to always have time to do.
The truth of the matter is, I do have time. I do have the means. I do have everything necessary to be successful in living an active and healthy lifestyle.
What I need to do now is go do it.