Gaining weight and perspective

I am in an odd situation. Anyone who knows me would probably never think of me as the type of person to have this problem. In fact, I never in my wildest dreams would have thought, even as little as one year ago, that I would need to find a way to solve a problem like this one.

I need to GAIN WEIGHT.

Huh? What? Could that even be correct?

Bottom-line, yes, it’s correct. I need to gain weight. Less than one year ago I weighed in at about 350 pounds, I was eating myself to death and was really struggling to find a way to lose the pounds. Today, less than a year after having Vertical Banded Gastroplasty (VBG), I weigh about 166 pounds and feel and look pretty skinny. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking to get fat again, not in the least. I want to put on some muscle and work to look healthy. I’d be happy with a fit, lean 180 – 185 pounds. Not obese; not anorexic. I’d like to find some nice middle ground to sit on.

Speaking of middle ground, it seems like lately everything has been grossly out of balance. Work. Health. Life. Pretty much everything. The only thing that has really helped to me stay sane over the past month are my wife and kids. They are my rock. I have made life incredibly difficult for all of them over the past month and I know I have taken their flexibility, patience, love, understanding, kindness, compassion, and care for granted far too often. And I fear that this ride is not done yet. The wheels keep turning. The repercussions of this bullet I dodged could be long lasting. I can only hope that I can pay them back tenfold somehow.

I know I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying.

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